Nightlife In Mildura

Posted On 7 October, 2019

So you think this is a post about cute nocturnal animals… spoiler alert. Sorry no cute animals in this post.

This is my first post on the blog and I know Ross said in our first post why would two purportedly sane adults do what we are doing. Go to the dictionary and look up insane and there is a picture of us smiling contentedly because we are insane. 

It starts at 8.15 last night when Val wanted to go to bed but didn’t want me to help her get undressed and pjs etc on. It takes about 15 minutes when she and I do it together and 1 hour and 15 minutes later with lots of “chats” about her difficulties and stubbornness she was finally in bed.

We had explained nicely the need for her to have us help etc. and finally she gave in struggling to get pjs on and her need to just use us to help. I thought I’d got her to understand. Silly Nina.

Half an hour after she’s in bed and Ross and I are on the phone with Ally, distracted with the difficult emotions she’s dealing with. Val rather than call out for help goes to the bathroom by herself. Something she really can’t do properly without help. I realise, too late, she’s in the loo. For me there’s mess on the floor and a change of pj pants. Feeling very frustrated by now I get her back to bed and again explain she just needs to ask as it’s what needs to happen. She agrees. Excellent I think. Crawl into bed. Bliss.

Wake up about 1am as Ross is jumping out of bed and I hear a big thud. Val’s got out of bed without calling us and has a big fall. Ross and I check Val out. She’s hurt her back and bottom with the fall but thank goodness the gap between her bed and the bench in the caravan is wheelchair width and she didn’t hit her head or break a hip. She flails around on the floor for a few minutes unwilling for us to help. Ross gives in and just picks her up, much to her disgust. We once again explain in loud commanding tones the need for her to ask us for help. She unwillingly agrees. Back to bed. 

At 2.15am Val calls me. I’m excited as she has obviously listened. I get up and she asks for Panadol. I ask her what’s wrong, as I get the Panadol. Val says her back is sore. I say that’s from the fall earlier in the night. “No it’s not” says Val, I have restless legs. I can’t resist the temptation to explain that she actually said her back was sore and nothing to do with her legs.  Val says “I didn’t say that, I have restless legs”. At this point I give up and get back into bed hopefully for a long sleep. Once again silly Nina.

Next time I wake it’s about 4am and I hear rain. I’m thinking fantastic Mildura is getting rain after four months of no rain. Unfortunately I was just tired and confused and realised it wasn’t rain but ‘you know who’ in the loo by herself again!  Jump out of bed and see her walking from the loo back to her bed with her pants down grabbing at walls etc to try and stay upright. I grab her and sort everything out and get her back to bed. Then I explain once again how dangerous her behaviour is to her safety and that she just needs to call us for help. She tells me she doesn’t understand why she needs to, she’s capable and I’m just a manipulative person. I explain that when she called for Panadol it was perfect. Val then says “I called you for Panadol but there was no point as you didn’t give me any”. I say yes I did. Val says “no you didn’t, I know what Panadol looks and smells like and yours didn’t. Your lying”. I’m sorry to say at this point I used the F word and said to Ross I can’t do this anymore. 

Crawl back into bed and funnily enough, although exhausted, I can’t sleep and am upset at myself for swearing.  I’m meant to be the grownup. Fell back to sleep about 5.30.

Woken again about 6.30 as Val called me to go to the toilet. Breakthrough moment you think. Me too. Nothing like being lulled in a false sense of security. She’s still muttering about my “fake” Panadol. I resist the urge to say what I’m thinking. 

In the words of Ally’s beautiful friend Annie who passed away yesterday Breathe in. Breathe out. Today is a new day. 

P.s. Ross is currently ordering a patient bed alarm so we hear when she gets up. Probably won’t get it until Friday so still some more nights of fun. ?